Jonathan may seem to be a side character in the broader story of Saul’s demise and David’s rise as told in 1 Samuel. But the Scriptures give significant attention this godly man, who was a brave warrior, a devoted friend to his chief rival to the throne, and the son of dangerously unstable father.
In our psychologized age, where “establishing boundaries” and “cutting off contact” with difficult family members is common, Jonathan’s ability to protect himself and others while obeying the 5th commandment provides an example to study and emulate.
Jonathan’s father Saul could rightly be called insane. Not only did he regularly blame-shift (1 Samuel 13:8-14; 15:15, 21, 24), suffer mood swings (1 Samuel 16:14, 23), flip-flop between favor and disfavor towards David (1 Samuel 18), obsessively chase David—who was Jonathan’s best friend and brother-in-law—in order to kill him (1 Samuel 23:14), and order the mass murder of the priests at Nob (1 Samuel 22:17–18), he also verbally abused and attempted to murder his own son (1 Samuel 20:30, 33). This happened after Saul had almost put Jonathan to death for unknowingly crossing Saul’s rash vow (1 Samuel 14:39, 44).
Anyone unhinged enough to attempt to put someone to death twice would be ghosted instantly in this generation, parent or not. Jonathan certainly left when he was endangered (1 Samuel 20:34), and encouraged others to do the same (1 Samuel 20:35-42). Yet Jonathan is commended at the end of his life for dying in battle fighting beside his father (2 Samuel 1:17–27).
How did Jonathan maintain a praiseworthy relationship with his father under such circumstances? Jonathan’s story as related in 1-2 Samuel provides many insights for your own relationships with difficult parents.
Get this Bible study on difficult parents here.
